


Come Back To Me

by Lone_Wolf_Fanfics



Series: Supernatural/Marvel Crossovers [6]
Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Supernatural, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Hurt Loki (Marvel), Hurt Thor (Marvel), Magic, Multi, Murder, Protective Thor (Marvel), Reincarnation, Stealing, Witches, loki is a little shit, lying
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-28
Updated: 2019-07-31
Packaged: 2019-09-01 21:00:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 19,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16772842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lone_Wolf_Fanfics/pseuds/Lone_Wolf_Fanfics
Summary: Once upon a time Thor and Loki both fell in love with the same woman, Mila, Frigga's apprentice. But when she fell in love with Thor, Loki became jealous and lashed out, killed her.Now 1,000 years later Loki walks into a occult store and meets Mila Winchester, a reincarnation of woman he murdered a millennium ago. And he's determined to keep her this time.





	1. Mila Winchester

Name: Mila Winchester

DOB: February 14th 1981

  
Species: Asgardian Reincarnation

  
Appearance:  
Height: 5ft 9in  
Hair: Blonde  
Eyes: Green

Cast: Riley Voelkel

Family:  
John Winchester (father)  
Mary Winchester (mother) †  
Henry Winchester (paternal grandfather) †  
Millie Winchester (paternal grandmother)  
Samuel Campbell (maternal grandfather) †  
Deanna Campbell (maternal grandmother) †

Dean Winchester (Older brother)  
Sam Winchester (Younger brother)

Adam Milligan (younger half-brother)

Bobby Singer (surrogate father) †

Christian Campbell (third cousin) †  
Gwen Campbell (third cousin) †  
Mark Campbell (distant cousin) †

Cain (ancestor) †  
Abel (ancestor) †

  
Personality  
As a child, Mila was mischievous as she and Dean would climb up into trees and plot mischief.

Mila has exhibited an independent, tenacious, rebellious streak. She has a very stoic personality, keeping a calm, difficult to read, expression at near all times. Mila has shown to be a curious person.

Mila is tough, independent, she is a skilled actress. And has a firm sense of honor and loyalty towards her family. She has a great fondness for her little brother and approves of who he is.

She is very fond of her father and has never forgotten the last time she saw him, patiently awaiting the moment she reunites with him.

Mila is a haunted, tortured soul, and suffers greatly from the loss and pain in her life/ The damage that Mila suffered caused her to become a methodical and cunning individual. However, she shows little interest in what secrets are in her brother's mind, casually brushing them off as of little use to her.

Mila wastes no time in enjoying the sliver of freedom John gives her, she spends her free nights off partying, dancing on the bar table and downing a couple of drinks. Her party-going and promiscuous tendencies are her way of coping with the increasing tensions in her family.

Mila has also shown a capacity for concern to those not of her blood. Mila proves to be capable of caring quite deeply about others outside her family  
.  
Mila has been seen to be reliable, determined, and fierce whenever things get difficult for her and her family. She is not above taking the initiative of handling things her way and would silence those who would oppose her. She is also one of the more reasonable Winchesters.

She has also proven to be stubborn, as her sole motive is to save and protect her family even when she knew that would put someone else in danger.

Mila has shown she can be manipulative and cruel in order to protect the ones she loves, even at a high price.

Ultimately Mila has an almost black and white view of things, especially when it comes to those she views as enemies, not caring about reasons, motives or how grey the situation actually is.

  
Physical Appearance:  
Mila, as a child, had curly blonde hair and green eyes.

As an adult she is a very beautiful young woman of high stature and a slender build, carrying herself with grace and tact.

She dresses in modern, dark clothing and wears make-up.

NOTE: Mila dabbles in the dark arts behind her families back. She is actually very talented at witchcraft. (This connects to the reincarnated goddess thing – her past life is as an Asgardian sorceress, Frigga's apprentice that Thor was infatuated with, Loki seeing this.....well killed her out of jealousy as he too was infatuated, and it was a if I can't have you situation for him)


	2. Chapter One

Loki likes to wander the streets of New York, that time between when everyone is finishing work and the night life begins, it's quieter, cooler, darker, it's his perfect time of day, he can hide from the crowds. He knows the others have told him to stay inside, but how do they expect him to stay cooped up all the time. So he wanders the back streets, where all the small stores are, bookshops, second hand stores, computer repair stores.....he pauses in his steps, and a new occult store, he's walked this street a number of times since joining the Avengers but he's never seen this store. And he would remember it. He looks down the road before crossing the street to look in the window. And his heart is racing. It's like he's seen a ghost, the woman sat at the counter reading a book about Vikings is the spitting image of the woman he fell in love with many hundreds of years ago, back on Asgard, a woman that ended up falling for his brother, a woman that he murdered, and lived to regret it. He takes a shaky breath watching her brush her hair behind her ear. She's just as beautiful as she was the first time they met. He can't go in. He can't face her. He can't. He turns to leave but stops, something tugging at him to enter the store. He closes his eyes. He can face her. He can apologise for what he did, he's a different man now, he wouldn't hurt her now. He nods and turns back to the store before pushing open the door, the bell above it ringing as he does. She glances across at him from her seat and sits up straighter, Loki nervously rubs his hands together waiting for it, the onslaught of hate and pain, and revenge.

"Hi, can I help you?" she asks, a smile on her lips as she closes the book and stands. Loki is taken a back. This is not the reaction he expected, he assumed she'd know who he is, perhaps he is wrong about her, perhaps this isn't the same woman. No. Her face is moulded onto his memory like fire. And he can feel it on her, the magic, this is the same girl, just there is something different about her now, she's....human.

"I urm..." Loki struggles a moment trying to make sense of this situation. "I've never seen the store here before" he admits.

"That's because I only opened three days ago" she admits a little. "So far, not exactly popular, the occult is a....acquired taste" she offers with a smile, he finds himself smiling back, after all these years, she is still into magic. "Is there something specific you're looking for or are you just looking?" she asks cocking her head.

"Bit of both" he offers moving closer to the counter. "There a book I've been looking for" he admits. "Arcana Mundi, the early copy" he leans on the counter a little, it's not a lie, he has been searching for a copy of that book but it's proving difficult to get his hands on, the version he wants anyway.

"So Loki is a fan of old Midgardian magic" she teases, he looks to her surprised, she seemed to not recognise him before but now she knows his name. "Your face was all over the news" she offers with a smirk, his heart sinks and soars at the same time, she does not remember him in the way he feared she would, she does not remember him as her murderer, it means he can start again, he can get her to fall in love with him this time around, he hopes that this woman is just like his Mila.. "And your disguise" she teases a little taking the glasses from his face and placing them in his palm. "What is it with you guys that think glasses is all it takes to hide your identity? Do we humans really seem that stupid?" she asks amused, he smirks.

"You're not" he assures her. "Clearly" he adds holding up the glasses.

"I'll admit I'm slightly smarter then the average human" she offers. "And I could feel your magic the second you walked in" she adds moving behind her counter again, trailing along the bookshelf behind her. "I do have a copy of that book" she assures him and turns leaving the book case behind. "But...only one and it is mine" he makes a face of disappointment as she reaches the counter again. "I suppose you can borrow it" she offers, he raises an eyebrow at her.

"Just like that?" he asks.

"You're not some Goth teenager looking for magic spells to turn their little brother into a toad" she answers. "I know you are genuinely interested in the world of magic, I know you're not going to abuse this book....it's very important to me" she admits. "It was a gift"

"I give you my word that I will treat it as if it is my own" he promises her. She nods a little and then heads out the back, Loki turns and looks around the rest of the store, there is a section of herbs and oils, a section of crystals and gems, another of talismans and tokens, a section of blank grimoires, and a section for everything else occult, it's probably the most detailed collection of items he's seen on Midgard. He touches one of the crystals on the stands and smiles a little remembering the collection his Mila had back on Asgard, every inch of her chambers were covered in some form of crystal, or book, or talisman. He removes his hand hearing this doppelgänger return to him.

“Here” She holds it out to him and he takes it with a smile. She's staring up at him, he raises an eyebrow at her. “Sorry” she whispers. “Just something about you” she offers. “I cannot put my finger on it” she shakes her head and steps away from him, Loki breaths out the breath he'd been holding. “Mila” she offers, he blinks.

“Pardon?” he asks.

“My name” she answers amused. “It's Mila Winchester” he stares at her a little and then nods.

“Loki” he offers back and then groans. “Which you already know” he mumbles a little. “Mila” he greets, she smiles and nods.

“Is there anything else you need?” she asks moving back to the counter, Loki shakes his head.

“No” he croaks out and then clears his throat. “No, thank you”

“Are you sure?” she asks. “I'll do you a great deal on herbs” he chuckles a little.

“No, thank you....and thank you, for the book, I'll return it to you” she nods and takes her seat at her desk grabbing her book, she smirks a little.

“I look forward to it” she glances to him as he leaves.

…...........

Loki stands behind his brother holding onto the book from 'Mila'. He opens his mouth and then closes it again. Part of him, the now good him, is telling him to tell Thor, to tell his brother that the one woman he's ever loved is back and alive and in New York. But....there is another part of Loki, the old part of him, telling him that the one woman he's ever loved is back, and he wants her all to himself. Loki holds the book closer and walks away. The old Loki is winning today. He opens the book as he leaves the room, Thor looking back at his brother with a scowl before turning back to the tv which plays some viking tv show Sam Wilson introduced him to.


	3. Chapter Two

Loki is back at the store the next week to return Mila's book. He enters the store as she is leaving the back room, seeing him she smiles warmly at him.

“You're back” Mila comments moving to the counter.

“I came to return this” he holds up the book moving towards her.

“After one week?” she asks. “You could have kept it longer” she assures him.

“I...copied the pages I needed” he admits setting it on the counter. “If you ever need to borrow anything” he starts, she smiles and nods taking the book back.

“I will consider you” she offers with a smirk. He nods and then looks around before taking a step back. She notices the step. “Stay” she offers. “At least have some tea, we can talk....do you know how long it's been since I talked to another interested, really interested in magic?” he shakes his head in answers. “Never” she answers with a smirk, he smirks back and nods.

“Tea sounds nice” he offers back, she smiles and then disappears out the back, Loki smiles and takes a breath, he's nervous, again, around this woman. It's like he's a love stricken boy who used to fawn all over his mother's apprentice. He touches a crystal on the counter and smiles sadly picking it up, deep blue, a blue that actually reminds him of his brother. Which sucks as it makes him feel guilty. Mila was Thor's first love too. Only problem was that Thor was Mila's love. And not Loki. Which is what drove Loki to kill her. It was childish and jealous driven, and he'd regretted it after, of course he had, he killed the bright light that made him laugh and smile and he just got so jealous he couldn't help himself.

“My brothers never got why I liked tea” Mila admits rejoining him, carrying a tray of tea.

“You have brothers?” he asks.

“Two....well.....one now, I suppose” she answers setting the tray down.

“I'm sorry” he offers softly, she nods.

“Yes, it is sad. It's just me and Dean now” she admits.

“Parents?” he asks.

“Mother died when I was 2” she answers. “And Dad was....oh urm....5 years ago now” she looks down at the tea pot, fidgeting with it.

“Is magic something you have always been drawn to?” Loki asks, changing the subject sensing her upset and unease. Mila nods, smiling grateful pouring them both a cup of tea.

“Yes, for as long as I can remember.....before I was practising I was fascinated with...fairies and witches and....warlocks” she shrugs and sits across the counter with him. She rests her chin in her hand, elbow on the counter, as she watches him, he raises an eyebrow at her. “I find it strange” she admits “You're Asgardian, right?” she asks.

“Technically....no” he admits back, she raises an eyebrow. “I was raised on Asgard...but I was born a Jotun”

“The frost giant race, right?” she asks, he nods, impressed with her Norse mythology knowledge. “No offence but you're not exactly....giant” he smirks and laughs a little.

“It's called being the runt” he offers, she touches his arm, meaning to be comforting, but all it does it bring memories to the surface, it's something his Mila did, comfort through touch. A simple touch to the arm, to the hand, to the shoulder and everything would be better. It seems this carbon copy is the same. She gently squeezes his arm and offers a smile. And his heart is doing funny things in his chest. “What did you find strange?” he asks.

“Oh” she whispers softly. “Urm...that you have an interest in Midgardian magic”

“Because I tried to take over the world?” he asks, she nods.

“Pretty much, that and surely someone from space wouldn't find Earth all that interesting”

“It wasn't till after I tried to invade” he admits. “That I was introduced to Midgardian magic...through Doctor Strange” he places his hand over hers on his other arm. “After I met him it got me thinking” he offers. “And now some days I wish I hadn't opened that door. Your midgardian magic can be...”

“Dark?” she asks. “Filthy? Wet?” he nods.

“There is a lot of.....fluids involved” he answers, she smirks and then laughs.

“I'm sorry” she is quick to tell him. “But your accent and the word...fluids” she dissolves into a fit of giggles, Loki smiles watching her. How long it's been since he's heard her laugh like that? 800 years?

…...........

Later: Loki pulls on his coat as Mila cleans away their lunch tea tray. In the soft light of her store she seems so perfect, so much like his Mila, but getting closer, there is a harshness to her eyes, pain, suffering, and a deep hurt. He supposes that's what happens when 3/5 of your family die. There is so much of the old Mila, and yet still some new Mila in there too. Enough that he wants to get to know her all over again. To learn what is truly different about this one. He smiles and clears his throat.

“Would you care to have dinner with me?” he asks her, she brushes her hair behind her ear and nods.

“I would like that” she answers. “Do you have a cell phone?” she asks. “Or do I need to contact you through some hoodoo spell?” she teases, he smirks and nods.

“Well the spell thing will work” he offers. “I'm sure there is a summoning spell buried somewhere” he pulls out a cell phone and takes a pen from the counter. “But how about that number” he writes the number from the screen on her hand and then smirks. “Call when you are free and we'll....have dinner” she nods and smiles. She pauses slightly just staring at him.

“What?” he asks softly.

“Sometimes when I look at you I get this feeling...” she admits. “I can't place it....” she shakes her head and offers a smile. “It's nothing” he watches her sadly, he has a feeling he knows just what is going on now. This is his Mila. This is Thor's Mila. She's just been reborn, over and over and over again. And now she's forgotten who she really is. And it's all his fault.

…...........

Back at the Avengers Tower, Loki is once again stood behind his brother who is sat with Steve and Bucky watching tv. Thor senses Loki watching him and turns to look at him, Thor raises an eyebrow at Loki.

“Loki?” he asks. “Everything all right?”

“Yes” Loki answers. Thor notes Loki's 'strange' mood and then sits up straighter.

“Something you wish to tell me, brother?” Thor asks, Loki struggles with himself. So many different arguments running through his head. Loki shakes his head.

“No” Loki answers and then walks away. He is a bad, bad, bad brother. Oh he is such a bad brother.


	4. Chapter Three

Asgard, around 900 years ago:

Thor smiles watching Mila, his mother's newest and best apprentice laugh with Frigga. His mother took Mila in when her father was killed in battle alongside Odin and her mother died of heartbreak. She's been with them three years now and Frigga, Loki, Odin and Thor continue to grow fond of the girl, some more then others. Thor is one of them. He leans against the post just watching her talk, her lips moving softly, warmly. He sighs softly. There's a warm twinkle in her eyes as she looks to him, her lips curved up into a most beautiful smile, a smile so beautiful the stars weep. She turns back to Frigga who is smiling at the pair, knowingly. Mila bows to the Queen before hurrying to Thor who smiles wider as she reaches him.

“Prince Thor” she greets, curtseying slightly, he smiles back.

“Lady Mila” he greets back taking her hand to kiss the back of it. They walk away together, his hand never leaving hers as he starts to tell her tales of his adventures with the Warriors Three and Lady Sif. Though Mila was never interested in the art of war she would listen to him for hours to watch him smile and laugh and cheer in child like joy. Both Princes were different back then. Softer, kinder, light hearted. Time changed that. As did Loki.

…........

Present:

Mila wakes in her bed, alone, shaking and breathing heavily, she's had weird dreams before, given everything she's seen it's hard not to but this, this was something else. She knows her mythology and she knows Loki, and his family tree. Why would she dream about his brother? Why would she dream about kissing his brother? She likes Loki, she does. There is something that makes her feel like home around him, and he likes to talk about magic, and she likes to talk about magic, something she couldn't do with her own brothers. And she really likes him. But something is still missing. She sighs and climbs out of bed just as her alarm clock goes off.

….............

Loki smiles listening to Mila talk, it's something he's decided he will never tire of. The way she talk this time around, and the laughter, humour and lightness of her words. And all she's talking about is ice cream and it's the most interesting conversation he has ever had. It's been three months since their dinner date, and to be honest, he's barely spent any time at the tower. Opting to spend days with Mila in the store and then when he really has to, and only then, going back. Today is Mila's day off, so they are spending it together. And he should feel terrible that he's not telling Thor all about her. And yeah, he does feel a little terrible, but why should Thor win this time, why can't Loki, just this once, get the girl? Three months of talking and laughing and looks and fleeting touches. He even gets to hold her hand. Warm and soft but still marked from magic and crystals. Mila turns to him, wide smile and shining eyes.

“Movie night?” she asks him, and the intent is not lost on him. 3 months of technically dating, and he knows what comes next, and as much as he wants to, that guilty feeling is eating away at him. Stopping him from making a move. And Gods does he want to. He raises her hand to his lips and smiles against it.

“I would love to” he tells her, another knife of guilt just stabbing at him. Who knew he cared so much about his brother and his feelings? He just has push those feelings, way down, deep, deep down inside of him, and ignore them.

…..........

Mila has kicked off her shoes in her apartment, the black sundress flowing around her knees as she moves about her kitchen, Loki stands at the unit holding her DVD collection, it's sparce given that she's never had a DVD collection before.

“What about this one?” Loki asks holding up the animated movie Anastasia. She smirks.

“That is a children’s movie” she points out, he shrugs.

“So?” he asks. “We're kids at heart” she laughs and bounds over to him plucking the case from his hands.

“True” she whispers. “It's about a Princess” she tells him. “Russian princess who goes missing during a revolution, looses her memories of her old life and who she used to be....it's the journey of her learning who she really is...and falling in love....” she smirks. “All tied together with some catchy musical numbers” Loki is watching her differently now. A few of those plots are sitting a little too close to home for him. “Little girly for you, no?” she asks him softly, he smiles a little and shrugs.

“I am open minded” he offers, she snorts.

“No, you're not” she argues, he frowns as she heads back to the kitchen.

“What do you mean?” he asks.

“Loki, we have been out to dinner, 25 times in the last 3 months, 25 times you have ordered the exact same thing at the restaurant with the exact same drink. You order vanilla ice cream and black coffee....” she smirks. “Try something new....” she offers warmly. He nods a little, she has him there. He just knows what he likes.

“Let's start with this movie” he offers, she glances to him, he raises an eyebrow at her.

“Very well” she grabs the two sodas and the bowl of popcorn from the counter and returns to him.


	5. Chapter Four

Loki smiles a little seeing Mila waiting for him, two months on since their movie night and she's just as radiant every time he sees her, it's the fall now and her wardrobe seems to be filled up of scarves and little bobble hats, they never had weather like this on Asgard, constant blue skies and warm weather, he wonders how well she's acclimatised to it. Thor can barely step outside during the winter months, instead opting to hibernate in his room with chocolate. Loki, thought, he's rather suited for the cold. Loki walks towards Mila as she wraps her coat around herself and glances around sensing him, she smiles seeing him, a smile that makes his heart do all sorts of things. She turns fully to him as he reaches her, her hands leaving her coat pockets to brave the cold, to reach for him. He takes her hands and pulls her closer to him.

“I told you we should have met at yours” he scolds feeling how cold her hands are.

“We've been stuck inside with the rain for weeks” she complains. “I needed to see the sky again” she teases a little and wraps her arms around him to hug him, Loki hugs her back pulling her closer to him. “Morning” she greets him, he pulls back and smiles wrapping her scarf around her neck properly.

“Good morning” he greets back. “What did you want to do today?” Loki asks taking her hand, she turns and walks with him.

“There is the Fall Market” she offers. “Lots of pumpkin pies and spiced coffee” she leans against his arm. “And you need a new scarf” she comments taking his scarf in her other hand. It's falling apart, it had actually been a hand down from one of the others when he moved in, they wouldn't allow him the freedom to shop for himself and this is the first fall he's needed it. “And some gloves” she comments. “Plus the ice rink at Rockefeller centre is open, fancy a bit of skating?” she asks him.

“Never tried it before” he admits, she raises an eyebrow at him.

“Well then we definitely have to go” she counters hugging his arm, he smiles warmly watching her. He's seen her change these last few months, in the beginning he'd catch her just staring off into space with a sad, heartbroken look on her face, he assumed it was to do with her dead brother but these last few weeks, this last month she seems to be bouncing back a bit, more of the old Mila, his Mila shining through. She is very much like the Mila that used to run around Asgard with her arms filled with books and ingredients for spells. And some days when she smiles at him, he forgets that this isn't his Mila. Just some....copy. He wraps his arm around her shoulders pulling her closer to him.

…............

“Keep up, old man” Mila teases as she skates past him, Loki smirks a little turning to watch her, turns and spin and move on the ice. Turns out Mila can ice skate rather well, and he's not sure she's not using magic to do so, she spins around him smiling, he grabs her wrist and pulls her closer to him, his hand on her waist, he curls it around her back as his other hand releases her wrist and reaches up, Loki brushes her hair back shifting closer to her, his eyes searching hers. She wraps her own arm around his neck, threading her fingers into his hair. And for a moment he sees her in her last moments, all those years ago, he sees her as plunged that dagger into her heart, the betrayal and the hurt in her eyes as he killed her and he hesitates. Mila raises an eyebrow as he pulls back from her. “Loki?” she asks softly.

“I am sorry” he whispers softly closing his eyes. “It's not that I do not want to” he assures her. “I just...”

“Not the right moment?” she asks him taking his hand. “It's okay” she whispers and then presses her lips to his cheek. “We've only known one another for a few months” she shrugs. “It'll happen when it happen, if it happens” he smiles at her and then he does kiss her. His moment of hesitation over. His lips move against hers, and she is kissing him back, she is actually kissing him back. But it feels....wrong. It's not that it's bad, she's a very good kisses, it's a fantastic kiss, but there is a pit in his stomach. Loki pulls back and closes his eyes. It's wrong because she is not his. And he knows this. She's not meant to be his. And he's a good guy now. He strokes her cheek and smiles. Before they are both falling on the ice, Mila screams and lands on his chest as Loki grabs her to stop her hitting the ice. “Ow!” she complains a little as Loki groans. She smirks a little looking down at him before she chuckles.

“I fail to see why this situation is so funny” he comments holding onto her waist.

“Oh Loki” she whispers pushing herself up a little. “Just the element of cliche” she stands carefully and holds out her hand to him. “My brother would be laughing at this moment...” he takes her hand and she helps him back to his feet. “A real chick-flick moment” she brushes ice from his coat and adjusts his new scarf, he watches her think about her brother, a warm, sad smile on her face.

“You miss him” he comments, she shrugs.

“I spent my whole life pretty much stuck with them boys” she offers looking up at him. “They were always there, every time I turned around, it's strange some days, I see something, or something happens and I turn around expecting to see one of them, or both of them making these faces, making a snide comment...but they're not there” he brushes a tear from her cheek, he kisses her forehead softly and pulls back.

“How about we go and have that coffee now?” he asks her softly. “You can tell me about them, about your brothers” he offers, she nods.

“I would like that” she whispers touching his scarf and then pulls him down for another kiss, he smiles against her lips and ignores that pit in his stomach, his arm snaking around her waist to hold her closer.


	6. Chapter Five

Loki turns grabbing Mila's waist as she tries to move passed him, she laughs letting him pull her closer, his lips finding her throat, his arms around her waist. Domestic bliss, he supposes is the right word here. Though not actually living together, he does spend 95% of his time here, with her, or at the store, with her. He spent Halloween with her, Christmas with her, he saw in the New Year with her, he even celebrated Valentines day with her. Midgardian holidays that once meant nothing to him, mean everything to him now. He'll have these memories when this is over. Which he is completely convinced of. That something will come along and take her away, or make her run away. She wraps her arms around his neck as she turns to face him, her eyes twinkling and he can't help but smile. He leans closer and kisses her, running his hands up her back to hold her closer to him. Both of them deepening the kiss, pushing that little bit more. He grabs her hips and pushes her against the counters behind her.

…..............

Loki shifts slightly in Mila's bed adjusting the blankets around them both, her naked and warm body pressed up against his, she sighs contently against him and he lets himself have this. She shifts against him lifting her head to look at his face.

“So when do I get to meet the other Avengers?” she asks him, he frowns at her before shaking his head.

“Well...never” he answers, she pouts a little.

“You're not ashamed of me, are you?” she teases lightly, he looks to her. The other Avengers are fine, it's Thor. Thor will have things to say.

“Not you” he strokes her arm. “It's not you I'm embarrassed or ashamed of” he assures her pulling her closer to him. “Just want you all to myself” he coos in her ear, she turns and pushes him back against the bed, straddling his waist, a smirk on her lips, he chuckles and runs his hands over her waist. Sleeping with her may have been the best and worst decision of his life. It's going to come back and bite him in the ass when the truth comes out. But she was persistent and warm and soft and touching him. And he couldn't stop himself. This is something he's wanted for as long as he can remember, since the first time he saw her, stood at his mother's side wearing a small smile, warm, friendly, but her eyes, her eyes contained the loss, her father was the Palace physician, her mother Frigga's longest serving ladies maid, both dead, a raid of the outskirts by Jotun. But Mila had been at the village, saved from it, and Frigga took her under her wing, hoping that the girl will show promise as a healer, to take over her father's duties. Loki had been lost in the moment, but he wasn't the only one, Thor had nudged Loki out of the way and smiled at Mila, all charm, and Loki knew the young maiden was lost, at first he thought her another of Thor's skirts, but he started seeing his brother change too, he stopped sleeping with other women, stopped flirting, stopped everything and concentrated on Mila and battle, that was all that mattered to Thor. He loved her. Truly loved her. And Loki had destroyed that, not just Thor's life, not just Mila's...but his own and his mother's...Frigga had covered for Loki when she found him stood over Mila's body with the dagger. She knew what he had done. And she covered it up for him. Mila, present Mila, lifts her head slightly to watch him concerned.

“What's wrong?” Mila asks Loki who shakes his head pulling her head to his chest to hide himself from her, he presses his lips to the crown of her head and closes his eyes. He's a good guy now, and good guys don't do this. “Loki” she warns trying to pull away.

“Nothing” he answers. “Nothing is wrong” she manages to wiggle free and sits on her knees to look down at him.

“Is it about the Avengers?” she asks. “I don't have to meet them, I don't actually particularly want to, it was just a joke” she offers, he shakes his head.

“No, it's not that” he assures her. “I was just thinking of home”

“Asgard?” she asks, he nods and plays with the blanket around her chest. “I bet it's beautiful”

“Oh it is” he agrees as she lays back at his side, he smiles wrapping his arm around her. “Gold and bright and open” she sets her head on his shoulder, he brushes his fingers along her arm. “You would love it” he offers, she curls up into his side. “Midgard has it's charms too” she pokes his ribs a little and smirks.

“Is that why you wanted to 'destroy' the world?” she teases him, he snorts and smiles.

“No, no my....appreciation of this world is....recent” she lifts her head to look at him, finds him watching. She snorts and shakes her head.

“Loki, you already have me naked and willing, you don't have to lay it on that thick any more” he laughs and pulls her closer till she rests on his chest, thighs either side of his waist.

“Oh, love, who said I was talking about you?” he teases back, his foul mood seeping away listening to her laugh. He smiles brushing her hair back from her face, his thumb sweeping over the line of her cheekbone.

“What are you thinking about?” she asks him, he shrugs.

“How beautiful you are” he answers warmly. “And sexy...and smart...and how lucky I am, how so very lucky” he whispers sadly.

“Then why are you sad?” she asks him frowning.

“I'm not” he answers, she raises an eyebrow. “Fine, I was thinking how much my mother would love you” he comments. “How much she would have loved you” he corrects himself. She kisses him softly and threads her fingers through his hair and soothes him as she kisses along his jaw.


	7. Chapter Six

Loki kisses down Mila's spine as she sleeps, soft, guilt ridden kisses. It's been getting worse. That feeling in his chest and stomach. Eating away at him, every moment he spends with her, every kiss, every caress. He loves her, he always has, but he knows she belongs with someone else. He closes his eyes and swallows the lump in his throat. He breathes her in, a scent he's come to feel is decisively Mila. Floral, herbal, magic. She shifts beneath him and turns her head slightly. He smiles for her and leans up to kiss her cheek.

“Morning” he greets softly, she smiles and hums her greets reaching up to rub at her eyes.

“How long have you been awake?” she asks him. Most of the night. He just wants to bank as many memories of her as he can. So he hasn't really been sleeping. Or leaving. He hasn't left her apartment in weeks, except to get clean clothes.

“Not long, love” he answers letting her roll onto her side and stretch. “You looked so peaceful I didn't want to disturb you” she smiles.

“I can't think of a better way to be disturbed” she purrs a little, he chuckles and brushes her hair back. Her smile shifts slightly into something filled with more feeling. “I love you” she whispers to him, Loki shifts his eyes to her, eyes wide with disbelief. All of that guilt and she finally tells him. The three words he's waited more then 800 years to hear from her. “Loki?” she asks him. Now is of course when she'd tell him.

“I love you too” he offers back full of longing and warmth, nothing hinting at his inner turmoil. She strokes his face softly, he leans into closing his eyes.

“Want some pancakes?” she asks, he smiles and nods.

“I would love some” he answers leaning closer to kiss her.

…..............

Loki grabs a book from the table as Mila collects the finished breakfast plates from around him, he pauses slightly and glances up at her.

“I should go back to the tower for some clothes” Loki admits, Mila frowns. “Underwear” he elaborates.

“Just turn them inside out” she offers.

“I did that already” he argues with a smile, she pouts a little, setting the plates down so she can climb into his lap. Loki sets his book back on the table.

“I don't see why you don't just move in here” she comments wrapping her arms around his neck. “You practically live here already” he strokes his hands up her side.

“Whilst that is a very tempting offer” he nudges her nose. “I'm not sure how the others will feel letting me have....free rein”

“Loki, you've been here every night for the last 5 weeks” she points out. “I don't know how much more free rein they could give you” he smirks and shrugs a little.

“I'll talk to them....see what they say” he offers. “But I really do need some clean clothes” she nuzzles under his jaw and sighs.

“Okay, but I'll miss you” she tells him, he smiles.

“I should hope so” he whispers kissing her head.

….............

Loki listens to the elevator doors open before he takes a breath and steps out of them, Thor, Bucky, Steve and Tony are in the room as he enters it, Tony at the counter reading the paper as Steve and Bucky eat breakfast, Thor's already made his way through his.

“It's the illusive Loki” Tony teases as he spots Loki, the God rolls his eyes.

“Where've you been disappearing to?” Steve asks, Bucky smirks a little.

“He hooked up” Bucky points out. Steve, Tony and Thor look to Bucky. “He did, he hooked up”

“Hooked up?” Thor asks.

“He has a lady friend” Tony offers. “Is that where you've been going?” Loki sighs.

“Fine, yes” he admits. “There is a woman I've been...spending a lot of time with”

“How long?” Steve asks with a smile.

“I've known her 8 months” Loki answers.

“And we're only hearing about her now?” Tony asks. “What's wrong with her?”

“Nothing” Loki is quick to argues. “There is nothing wrong with her.....she's perfect” Loki tells them. “Beautiful, smart, gifted....charming, sweet”

“Urgh” Tony faux gags, Steve shoots him a look to stop him.

“When do we get to meet this fair maiden?” Thor asks his brother.

“Oh never” Loki answers. “I like this woman, none of you are going to screw that up”

“He knows us too well” Bucky offers, Thor narrows his eyes a little watching as Loki walks away.

…..........

Loki takes a breath and looks to his cellphone, a photo of Mila smiling back at him, the cell phone is something else he is keeping from the Avengers, he and Thor made a whole thing about not needing them when they first moved into the tower. But Mila had won him over, they text when he's not with her, they call when he's at the supermarket picking up her favourite chocolates, he takes photos of her, lots and lots and lots of photos. He shouldn't, it's evidence that he's betraying his brother, yet again. And in the worst way too. Mila could be the woman Thor is meant to spend the rest of his life with and Loki is with her instead. He takes a breath and sits on the edge of his bed, the entire room is cold from not being used, a layer of actual dust is starting to form on the tops of the units and his desk.


	8. Chapter Seven

The summer passes by in a haze of sun, love and magic and Loki finds himself both falling deeper in love with Mila and falling further into that pit of guilt. There is no winning in this for him. And it's all too much. He thinks watching her tidy her store up. He thought he could do it. Take her for himself. Finally get what he always wanted. But now he's different, he's a hero, a good guy, this is not what heroes do. There is a mission, he will tell Thor after, when they return he will tell his brother that the woman he loved all those years ago is back. Yes, that's what he'll do. But for now, he's here to tell her he'll be gone for a few days, a week, two tops. Despite how much he hates the idea of leaving her he has a job to do. He takes a breath and walks into her store, she smiles seeing him and then drops it slightly seeing his expression.

“What's wrong?” she asks setting the box in her hands down on the counter next to her.

“I have this..mission” he starts, she nods.

“That's what you do, right?” she asks. “I knew it would happen eventually” she moves towards him. “Why do you seem so sad about it?” she asks reaching him, he smiles a little trying to hide what he knows will happen, she's going to end up hating him when she finds out the truth. He reaches up and strokes her cheek.

“Because I'll miss you” he admits, it's not a lie, very far from a lie actually. He kisses her cheek and holds her close to him.

“When are you leaving?” she asks him, slipping her hands under the back of his jacket. He hums a little and kisses her head.

“I have to head back to the tower now” he reluctantly tells her. “Pre-mission prep takes forever and the Captain is a stickler for details” she nods a little and sighs pulling back.

“Will you let me give you something?” she asks moving around her store. “For protection” he smiles and nods, he'll take anything she gives to him at this point, things he will come to remember her by. She grabs her bag from the counter and rummages around in it.

“Just something you have lying around?” he asks, teasing her slightly, she smirks.

“No” she answers pulling a black box from the bag. “I've had this some time just...” she holds it out to him as she walks back towards him. “I know you are this God, but I can still worry about you” he takes the box and opens it up, inside is a protection bracelet, simple in style but surrounded by magic.

“It's perfect” he assures her and pulls the bracelet onto his wrist before pulling her closer to him.

“Be careful” she begs of him a little, and his heart does this little flip in his chest knowing that she's going to be thinking about him, missing him, waiting for him.

“I'm a god, darling” he teases taking her face in his hands.

“Doesn't mean you can't die” she argues giving him a look, he understands this more then her, he knows they can die, he held her as she died the first time, held her after he killed her. He kisses her forehead and then her nose and then her lips, lingering there longer before pulling away.

“I will come back” he promises, he gives her another kiss before he is leaving, walking out of the door, he closes his eyes a little and shakes his head. That was probably it. The last time he'll get to touch her like that. The last time he'll see her smile. He touches the bracelet on his wrist and hurries back to the tower.

…........................

Mila can't sleep without Loki next to her, it's crazy and insane but maybe she's just gotten so used to his arms around her, the hard length of his chest against her back. So she tosses and turns, three nights with Loki and she is exhausted, sleeping should come easy to her but it doesn't. So when her cell phone rings on her bedside table she is grateful, for something to keep her awake, for a reason to get out of bed, grabbing her cell phone she climbs out of the covers, Loki's shirt on her shifting as she does. She glances to the caller id and frowns before answering it.

“Dean?” she answers, her frown only deepening.

….........................

Dean Winchester leans against the impala as he waits, he had put this off till the last minute, knowing that his little sister was enjoying her life in New York, doing something for herself. He takes a breath as her car pulls to a stop and she climbs out, the last year looks good on her, she seems brighter, lighter, more colour in her cheeks. She waves slightly before moving around her car to him.

“Me-me” he greets softly pulling her into a hug, Mila hugs him back tightly, they both took time away but it's hard when they've both missed one another. Dean pulls back and smiles a little as she shakes out her hair, the rain starting above them.

“Can we get out of the rain?” she asks him, he nods and leads her into the cabin, getting them both out of the rain, Mila shakes out her hair and turns to Dean. “So what's the big deal?” Mila asks him. “What the hell did you drag me back in this for?” Dean sighs a little and looks behind him, the door opens and Sam steps through.

“Hey, Mila” Sam greets, Mila's features softens slightly, the anger ebbing out as she takes in her baby brother, alive and well before her. She looks to Dean and raises an eyebrow, he knows what she is asking, he shrugs a little and pulls a face, Sam's not back 100% but he is back.

“Sam” she whispers staking a shaky step towards him, Sam offers a small smile.


	9. Chapter Eight

Loki hates delaying in leaving the tower to see Mila. He hates that he has to wait to go and see her after being gone a whole week. A week without her and he can't cope. But it's going to get so much worse. He looks to Thor sat on the couch ahead of him, relaxing post-mission. Loki has to tell him. He has to do it. He has to tell Thor. Spending the last week on a mission knowing he was lying to his brother, knowing he was keeping Mila from him, it was hard wanting to blurt it out every time Thor looked at him. He has to do it. And he knows it's going to hurt. Him. Her. All of them. But he has to.

“Thor” Loki starts fumbling with his phone in his hands. Thor turns and looks to his brother, notes the nervousness, instantly Thor's mind delves into trouble, believing his brother has done something he shouldn't, and whilst technically true that's not what this is about. “Do you think about her?” Loki asks, Thor frowns at him, Loki's eyes lifting to his brothers. “Mila” he elaborates, Thor's face falls; Loki knows the rules, they don't talk about her, they just don't. Mila's death had shattered Thor is ways that will never be fixed. His heart torn to shreds. The love of his life cruelly taken from him before they had a chance to live. His love, the woman who would have stood at his side and been his queen. Thor stands to his full height.

“Brother” Thor warns. “I do not wish to talk about her”

“I just...” Loki sighs. “If you had the chance to see her again, to be with her....would you take it?”

“I do not wish to discuss this” Thor starts to leave the room. Loki closes his eyes and steels himself for what he is about to say.

“I killed her” Loki admits, Thor pauses, letting those words sink in before he turns to Loki, a glare set onto his face, eyebrows furrowed, he wants to make sure he heard him right before he does anything. Loki looks up at Thor, eyes threatening to cry already, Loki swallows his emotions painfully. “I killed Mila” he adds. Thor storms towards Loki and grabs his throat lifting him up, Loki doesn't fight back.

“Why?!” Thor screeches in Loki's face, his own emotions taking over. That his brother had taken something so precious from him.

“I was jealous” Loki counters. “I loved her! And you....you swooped in and took what meant the most to me.....” Loki snaps. “She was stood there, waiting for you in that red and silver dress, she was beautiful...radiant, for you, and she was so excited and so happy, for you, and I snapped....” Loki admits. “Listening to her gush about how much she loved you....”

“Why tell me now?” Thor asks quieter. “Why bring all this up?” Thor releases Loki who straightens his clothes.

“Because...” Loki struggles and looks down to his phone. “Because I found her” he admits. “She's here...” he draws off quieter. “In New york” Thor stumbles back a little, unsure how to deal with this. “The woman I've been seeing....She's Mila” Loki holds out his phone to Thor who snatches it from him to look at the screen. A photo of Mila and Loki appears as the phone wakes from it's slumber. Thor's eyes linger on her, because Loki is right, this woman is every part Mila. “She has magic” Loki offers. “And she's...smart and funny”

“Shut up” Thor growls at him. “Don't...don't you dare” Loki looks down rendering himself silent as Thor flicks through the photos on Loki's phone. photo after photo of Mila from the last months, almost a year now. She's smiling. Laughing. Working. Reading. Each photo more and more proof that Loki is telling the truth about her.

“She doesn't know who she is” Loki is quick to add. “She has no memory of her life on Asgard, she has no memory of me or of you or of Mother”

“Be quiet” Thor snaps sitting on the couch eyes focused on the phone. “She's alive” Thor whispers to himself touching the screen. He stands and turns to Loki. “Take me to her” Thor snaps. “Right now, take me to her” Loki nods his head.

…..............

Loki crosses the street towards Mila's store from eyes widening at the sight in front of him. This can't be happening. This cannot be happening to him. Thor follows after Loki, still angry, fuming at him.

“No” Loki whispers looking up at the store front, boarded up, closed. “No, no” he looks around. “She should be here” he moves to the back entrance to the store, knowing that the door to her apartment building is there too.

…......

“Mila!” Loki knocks, hammers really, on Mila's apartment door, he's desperate to prove to Thor that she is real, that she is there, that this is not a trick. Only now Loki is starting to worry too. Mrs Dickinson from next door opens her door and pokes her head out before stepping out seeing Loki. He looks to her as soon as he catches the movement out the corner of his eye. “Mrs Dickinson” Loki greets. “Have you seen Mila today?”

“She left, sweetheart” the older woman tells Loki, Mila's neighbour who often brought round cake for them, or flowers, or biscuits, and Loki actually likes her, for a mortal.

“When?” Loki asks.

“4 days ago” She answers. “Her brother was very adamant that she leave with him” Loki's heart is breaking in his chest. “They were both very vocal about it” she pulls an envelope from her pocket and holds it out to Loki. “But she made sure she left this for you” Loki's hand shakes as he take it from her. “And there are some boxes too...” Loki looks to her as she waves them both towards her. “I'll put some tea on..” she offers, Thor shoots Loki a look, which goes ignored, Loki has more pressing issues to deal with. Like the fact that she left. That Mila took off without so much as a text.

…......

Loki stands in front of the open door to Mrs Dickinson's front door, they'd stayed for tea, Thor had been quiet but polite, this woman had done nothing wrong, it's Loki he's mad at. Thor stands behind Loki now waiting to leave. Loki glances to the box at his feet, from Mila, mostly books and supplies from her store. Including Arcana Mundi. The book he originally borrowed from her. He touches the cover and closes his eyes.

“Thank you, Mrs Dickinson” Loki tells her, the older woman gives him a smile before she closes the door on them. Loki takes a small breath and turns to Thor. “I am sorry” Loki tells his brother. “I thought she would be here” Thor turns and delivers a satisfying right hook to Loki's jaw. Loki reaches up to cradle it, his eyes meeting Thor's, lightening actually seems to be flashing across the god's gaze.

“Don't ever talk about Mila again” Thor warns and then walks away leaving his brother where he stands. Loki looks down letting a few tears fall before his eyes find the letter tucked into the book, pulling it free he is quick to open it and pull the paper from within.

 **[Loki, I am truly sorry that I am not there with you right now. That I was not there waiting for you to return. But something came up with my family and I had to leave. Just so you know....I really do love you, more then I ever thought possible, and the year we had will be my most treasured. You made me feel something I thought I didn't deserve, something I hadn't felt before. Please forgive me for leaving like this. I would much rather stay here with you but you know how I feel about my family. Maybe we'll meet again. One day. Forever yours, Mila]** Loki closes the letter and takes a steadying breath.


	10. Chapter Nine

Mila sits at a bar, one leg crossed over the other as she drinks from a glass of scotch, being away from Loki is proving more difficult then she thought. Being this far away from him. Knowing she won't be going back. That was the hardest part. Pulling herself away from that apartment, from her store, from New York. It pulled at something inside of her; something that is still screaming at her to go back. But her brothers...her brothers always come first for her. Dean takes the stool next to her and sighs a little leaning on the bar. He remains silent just watching his little sister drink. He hates seeing her like this. He's never seen her like this before. Not when John died. Not when Sam went to hell. Never.

“You doing okay?” Dean asks, Mila shoots him a look.

“What do you think?” she counter asks motioning with her drink.

“Is that really the life you wanted?” he asks. “You're little magic shop? An apartment? A boyfriend?” Mila clenches her jaw and then turns to him.

“What would you know what I want, Dean?” she asks him raising an eyebrow. “When have you ever asked me what I want?” she amends. “Rather then just...telling me what I want” she runs her finger around the rim of her glass, she thinks a moment. “Maybe the rest of the stuff didn't matter” she admits. “Maybe it wasn't about the store or the magic....maybe it was about the man” she points out. “A man that treated me like a human being and not some weapon or tool”

“I do not treat you like a weapon or a tool” Dean argues.

“Really?” she asks. “So you don't come to me every time you need a spell, or a potion”

“Because you're a witch” he points out. “And you know the witch stuff....” she sighs.

“I'm not going to argue with you again” she comments. “You've already won, congratulations” she tells him dryly. “I am here, you are here and Sam is here....what more is there at the end of the day in the life of Dean....nothing else matters, right?” she asks and downs her drink, setting the now empty glass down she licks her lips and stands turning to him. “How is Lisa, by the way?”

“Don't you dare” he warns, she raises an eyebrow at him.

“It's not my fault you screwed up” she points out. “You had a good thing with her, a future....you screwed that up”

“That's not my life” he argues.

“No, maybe....but I wanted it” she admits. “I wanted the house, and the person to love me, and yeah, maybe children....” Dean's jaw twitches as he tries to control his emotions at seeing his little sister get upset. “And for the first time I felt like I could have that....with him” she blinks and it sends tears down her cheek. “So yes, that's what I wanted. But you couldn't bare to see me happy, could you?” she asks him. “You and Sam back in the game and....you couldn't leave me be?”

“Then why did you leave?” he asks her. “I didn't make you, I didn't drag you from New York” she stares at him a moment, her eyes soft and sad and full of longing.

“Because....” she lets out a breath. “Because you and Sam are my brothers” she answers. “And I will put you before anything....and everything; even myself” she shrugs and then walks away, Dean looks down.

…................

**6ish Years later:**

The angel Castiel looks up at Mila worried as she approaches him with a blanket, he's worried about her, because he's not the only one that's been whammied with one of Rowena's spells. But she at least, for the most part, seems unaffected. Maybe because she is magically inclined. He's not sure. Something is off about her. Like he can taste it. And if he was at 100% then he would know. She notes his look and sighs.

“I'm fine” Mila reassures Castiel as she pulls the blanket around his shoulders. The angel has become a firm fixture in her life over the years. A dear friend. Her dearest.

“Rowena hit you with a spell too” he reminds her, she hums not really listening to him, to be honest whatever it was that Rowena hit her with has her insides feeling like knots. She can feel it too, the magic coursing through her, foreign and tainting her. Her head fuzzy and drifting.

“Just rest” she tells him.

“You always look after us” he tells her, she smiles at him.

“Of course I do” she counters. “You three would be running around starving and filthy without me” she teases, he smiles at her.

“Yes, perhaps” he agrees.

“You want anything?” she asks picking up the dirty clothes from the floor.

“No, thank you, Mila” he tells her warmly, she hums and then heads out of the room, Castiel waits till she's closed the door before grabbing his cell phone.

….........

Mila collects the clothing from Dean's bedroom floor with a sigh, Dean is the messiest of her brothers except that he loves his room to be clean; so it falls on Mila to make sure the bunker stays clean. She took a step back from hunting a few years ago after a particularly bad hunt left her with a shattered hip and broken cheek bone. She'd healed and she's fine but something in her changed that day, with that injury. Picking up a gun, or a knife, or whatever else that's needed, she can't. A fear that's so deep now she can't crawl back from it. So she stays in the bunker. Concentrates on research and her magic. Her brothers don't mind, in fact, she thinks they prefer it. She wasn't the same towards the end, reckless and dangerous. It's best she got out when she did. Dean knew it was his fault. He still knows it. After New York everything that happened was his fault. And they've not been the same either, growing up they were as thick as thieves but now...there is tension, always tension with them, anger, blame. It just eats them up. Mila drops something leaving Dean's room and pauses to pick it up. A deep green tie. Her eyes trace the length of it. She wasn't aware Dean has something like this. Something that reminds her of Loki. Her brothers had, over the years, learnt how to stop her from having a 'Loki episode'; moments when her emotions get too volatile and her magic lashes out at the world around her. They took away things that reminded her of him. Stopped asking her about him. And it worked. She hasn't thought about Loki in a while, while it still hurts it no longer cripples her like it used to. The years of living without him easing her suffering but the hole is there, and always gapping, constantly raw. Loki is the wound that will never heal. She closes her eyes and sets the tie back into the pile of clothing. Then there is a sharp stabbing pain in her head, Mila stumbles into the wall dropping the items in her hands, she reaches for her head. Her eyes wide with surprise. What the hell is that? And then it's worse. So very much worse. She's falling, and fast and the floor is looking very, very closer to her. She hits the floor faster then Dean eats pie. Her shoulder and hip hitting the solid floor hard. She cries out in pain, which alerts Castiel on the other side of the wall. It takes only a few seconds for him to appear. Eyes widening as he sees her.

“Mila!” Castiel shouts concerned rushing to her as she manages to push herself against the wall, he grabs her arm and pulls her up to her feet, his hand move to clasp her face to stare at her worried. “That spell” he worries.

“My head!” she grabs to his trench coat trying to stay on her feet. Despite being weak himself he lifts her up into his arms. “My head” she pleads with him, her eyes glossy and fading. Castiel adjusts her in his arms and carries her through the bunker towards her room. He pushes open the door with his shoulder and carries her in. It's bare. Far cry from the room she had in New York. The magical memorabilia that was scattered around her room. Gone. The clothing strewn on the floor. Gone. The photos. Gone. The colours. Gone. She wanted no reminder of New York, so shut herself down. Blocked out all men. Nothing else matter but her brothers and Castiel; and Bobby, Charlie and Kevin when they were alive. Her family is slowly dwindling in size. Each and everyone of them breaks her heart. She's calmed a little by the time he sets her on the bed, letting her curl into her bedding. Castiel pulls his cellphone from his pocket and dials. His eyes on Mila as she stares across at the blank wall. Her eyes unfocused on the world around her. Because it is coming back. That feeling in her mind. She cringes again and then she's screaming. Pure agonising screams erupting from her with no control. She tears at hair, at her scalp, at her skin, just at something to stop the pain. Castiel's worried eyes following her as she tosses and turns on her bed, his lips moving as he talks down the phone to her brothers but she can't hear him over the sound of her own screams. Castiel looks to her bedroom mirror as it shatters. His eyes wide he turns back to Mila.


	11. Chapter Ten

Dean and Sam hear the screaming before they are even out of the impala, both bolting out of the car and racing through the bunker to find the source, but both know, deep down they know it's Mila. They push open Mila's bedroom door and find her on her bed, Castiel sat at her side holding her down, pulling her hands from her own hair. He looks up, eyes wide, pleading for her.

“I've been trying to call” Castiel complains leaving the bed.

“Our phones died” Sam points out eyes on Mila's thrashing form.

“What the hell is going on?!” Dean asks over the sound of Mila's screams, Castiel shakes his head. Mila's voice is horse now with the sheer volume and duration of her screaming.

“The spell Rowena hit her with” Castiel points out.

“What spell?” Sam asks, Castiel sighs knowing that Mila didn't tell her brothers what happened, of course she didn't.

“Cas” Dean snaps, Castiel looks to him.

“Back when I was hit with the attack spell, Mila was hit with another; nothing happened so she just....”

“She ignored it” Sam catches on. “We would have....”

“What was she doing?” Dean asks. “When this started?” he motions to her, the screaming having stopped, she's so exhausted that she doesn't even have the energy to look at them.

“Laundry” Castiel answers. “She was in the hall when I found her” Dean sits beside Mila and runs his fingers through her hair. Her eyes glassy and dazed and vacant.

“I want Rowena's head” Dean growls slightly.

“We've been trying to find her” Sam argues. “Even if we did find her, killing her won't help and I doubt she'll help willingly”

“There is one person that could help” Castiel admits, the brothers look to him, Dean's fingers halting in Mila's hair. “Loki” Mila closes her eyes curling tighter into herself. “He is a powerful sorcerer....” Castiel offers in way of explanation but he's not a very good liar. Dean raises an eyebrow.

“Cas” he warns knowing him better by now. 

“There are things about your sister that you don't know; thinks she doesn't even know” Castiel ramble slightly pulling a blanket around Mila who sleeps softly now, at least she's not screaming.

“Like what?” Sam asks more level headed then Dean who looks about ready to snap, secrets screw them over every time.

“Mila is not human”

“Witches are human” Dean argues, Castiel looks to him.

“She is Asgardian” Castiel corrects. Sam raises an eyebrow as Dean scoffs. “A reincarnation” Castiel admits.

“How long have you known this?!” Dean snaps. “How long?”

“Since I met her” Castiel admits. “But she didn't know yet; she didn't remember....it's not something I wanted to just drop on her; time and time again she's been reborn and each time more and more of her memories have been disappearing; this time, this Mila, she doesn't recall any of her former lives”

“You should have told her” Sam argues. “She has a right to know who she is”

“Right, so this Loki guy, the New York army guy” Dean starts.

“He is from Asgard, he may be able to help” Castiel admits, Dean nods and scoops Mila up into his arms.

“Let's go before she wakes up and starts screaming again” Dean grumbles and walks past the two men, Mila curling against his chest, he hates seeing her in pain, after everything they've been through he cannot bare to see her suffering. He kisses her head and sighs against her hair. “I'm sorry” he whispers, apologising for taking her away from Loki all those years ago; perhaps this wouldn't be happening, he knows none of her pain in the last 6 years is because of him, he will not be making that mistake again.

…..............

Dean's worry increases the longer Mila sleeps, she doesn't wake in the car, at all, all the way to New York. A full days drive and she doesn't even stir.

Sam had contacted Loki via Mila's phone, a text telling him that they're coming and need his help, whether he got it or not Sam doesn't know; Loki did. And he is standing waiting for them as they enter the facility, his eyes instantly finding Mila's unconscious form. It's been a long six years and he's been no better then her. His and Thor's relationship was shattered the day Loki tried to take him to Mila, Thor barely talked to him, wouldn't even look at him the first year. Loki lost Mila and Thor. But now she is back. Dean turns and spots Loki before approaching clutching to his sister in his arms.

“You got the message” Sam offers, Loki nods.

“I did” Loki agrees.

“You have to help us” Dean tells Loki who looks down at Mila, his fingers rising to brush over her cheek, her skin warm beneath his fingers. She is really here.

“Mila” Loki whispers sadly. “What happened?” he asks quietly before he takes her from Dean, his arms wrapping around her tightly, she sighs softly in her sleep and rests closer to him, her fingers clutching to his jacket.

“A witch hit her with a spell” Dean answers. “She's been asleep since yesterday before that it was.....unbearable”

“She kept complaining about her head; she was screaming” Sam elaborates, Loki looks down and sighs softly.

“Come with me” Loki tells them and then walks away with her. Dean relaxes slightly and follows with Sam and Castiel. Answers. They're about to get answers.

…..........

Loki takes them to one of the Avenger debriefing rooms and walks with Mila to the empty table in the centre of the room, he'll check on her here before taking her to the others, to Thor. Dean lingers behind him, Loki can almost feel the worry coming off of her brothers.

“I'm Sam, this is...” Sam starts.

“I know who you are” Loki stops him. “Mila told me about you all” Dean looks down as Loki brushes Mila's hair back from her face, the green of his magic spilling from his fingers and soaking into her skin. “She did it” He whispers. “She unlocked her”

“What?” Sam asks moving closer.

“That witches spell unlocked a thousand years worth of memories and identities and history....unlocked the Asgardian inside of her soul” Loki explains. “Her mind and body is...adjusting” he pulls his hand back. “She will sleep now until everything has settled”

“That's it?” Dean asks.

“Yes” Loki answers. “I'm not going to be the person she wants to see when she wakes” Loki admits taking steps back. “Bring her upstairs...” he turns and leaves not waiting for an answer. Dean and Sam share a look.

“Great” Dean grumbles and moves to where Mila lays, he lifts her up into his arms and follows after Loki. Sam and Castiel behind him. Worry seeping into them yet again.


	12. Chapter Eleven

**Asgard, around 800 years ago:**

Loki stands in the doorway to Mila's chambers, she stands in a floor length red dress with gold detailing on. Her hair pinned and curled into place making her look beautiful, magnificent really. Like a queen. She pulls a necklace into place around her neck as he steps into the room.

“You could have anyone you want” he points out, she sighs, it's not the first time they've had this conversation, Loki has been very vocal about his brother and Mila.

“I want your brother” she argues. “He makes me happy” she comments pulling a bracelet onto her wrist. Loki lingers behind her, and she is unaware of his souring mood. “Makes me feel special”

“You are special” Loki points out, she smiles looking at his reflection as he moves closer to her.

“But he makes me feel it....” she argues. “The way he looks at me, and that smile...” she turns to face Loki and then gasps at the sharp pain in her chest, Loki frowns and looks down to find his own dagger in her chest, his fingers wrapped around the handle, her eyes are wide in disbelief, pain and betrayal. Loki's breath stutters in horror, he didn't even realise he did it.

“I'm sorry” he tells her lifting his eyes to hers. “I'm sorry” he repeats, lip quivering with realisation of what he's done. “Mila” he pleads as blood trickles out of her lips. “No” he whispers.

“Why?” she asks him before collapsing, he catches her, lowering her softly to the ground.

“I didn't mean to” he whispers brushing her hair from her face. “I didn't...” he sobs a little and then looks up. “Mother!!” he yells through his tears before looking back down at Mila. Her eyes are now glazed, her breathing shallow. She reaches up and clutches to his arm, pulling a little trying to fight off the inevitable. “I'm sorry” he repeats holding her in his arms, clutching to her. Her body trembles as she dies. “I love you” he admits leaning down to kiss her softly. When he pulls back her hand falls from his armour and he closes his eyes knowing what he's done. He presses his forehead to hers as he cries. Frigga hurrying into the room behind him.

“Loki, what have you done?” she asks him sternly, Loki looks around to his mother, his eyes wet, cheeks stained with his tears.

….............

** Present: **

Loki rubs his hands over his face removing his tears. Thor stands with an arm folded over his chest, his chin resting in his other hand as he waits, as they both wait. No words given after Loki had explained that Mila was here. Both silently decided to allow her brothers and their friend this time with her. Loki buries his head in his hands, Thor shooting him a look, to him, Loki doesn't deserve to be upset about this. This is all his fault. All of it is on Loki and his jealousy all those years ago. Thor loved Mila with every inch of his soul and being and when she died, when Loki killed her, it almost killed Thor too.

…............

** Asgard - 800ish years ago: **

Thor lays in bed, blankets draped around his waist, Mila draped against his side leaning over him, her eyes sparkling and warm as she stares down at him. Both lay naked. Both lay warm and satisfied together.

“Tell me you love me” Mila whispers against his lips, Thor smiles warmly at her brushing her hair back behind her ear.

“I love you” he admits, she leans down and ghosts her lips over his, not touching just yet.

“How much?” she asks him raising an eyebrow, he chuckles and wraps his arms around her turning them, till he can settle between her legs, he sighs softly, content right here with her.

“You know how much” he points out leaning down to kiss her, she turns her head away, unsatisfied by that answer, she smirks. He kisses her cheek and moves his lips to her ear. “I love you” he whispers against her ear, she closes her eyes and shivers slightly. “And I shall love you until the day I die, and if it's true that there is a life after this one, then I shall love you even then” she turns her head to him and places her hand on his cheek, he smiles down at her, his eyes so full of adoration and love that she can't do anything but believe him.

“I love you too” she assures him, he smirks.

“I know, my love” he counters. “I see it shine in your eyes every time you gaze at me”

…........

**Present:**

Thor turns away from his brother and clenches his jaw, swallowing the thick emotion in his throat. He meant every word he ever spoke to her....Thor reaches up and brushes his hands over his face and through his hair with a shaky breath.

….........

In the next room Mila blinks staring up at the ceiling above her. Not a familiar room. It's too white, too organised to be her room. She closes her eyes again as she sees rushes of memories, flickers and flashes of face and names and places. Layering over and over her current memories. Influx of pain and life and hurt and love. Hands touch the side of her head and her eyes snap open to meet blue ones above her, worry filled eyes.

“Castiel” she greets, though her tone is more formal, restrained and poised.

“Mila” he offers watching her as she sits up and swings her legs around the side of the table. Dean and Sam are on their feet the second they hear the two of them.

“How you feeling?” Dean asks her, she cocks her head.

“I...old” she admits. “I feel old” Dean smirks a little.

“Well, you're not a spring chicken any more” he teases, she stares at him a moment before smiling, she's having to process everything harder and longer.

“No” she agrees. “Where are we?” she asks. “This isn't the bunker” Dean, Sam and Castiel share a look, debating telling her just where they are. Just as the lights above her start to flicker and flash as she feels a rush of power through her body, she looks up to watch them. Now she's awake all her Asgardian magic is returning, and it's unlike anything of this world. Flooding through her like lightning and fire at once. She closes her eyes again and moans at the feeling.

…............

Thor and Loki look up as the lights in the hall where they are sat begin to flicker too. The two brothers share a look before Thor is moving, not caring any more, he needs to see her. He pushes through the door and his eyes find her, Mila, sat on the edge of the table, her hands curled into the table top. Her brothers close by concerned but relieved. They all look to Thor, his frame imposing, tense and stiff, Mila's eyes find his and he's moving towards her.

“Whoa, whoa, big guy” Dean starts to stop him, but Castiel pulls him out of the way of Thor, nothing is going to stop him from reaching her. Thor clasps Mila's face in his huge hands, his eyes searching hers for recognition but even without it she is really here in front of him, she is here and he is touching her and she is not dead.

“My love” he whispers leaning forward to press his forehead to hers, she closes her eyes and lifts her hand to the back of his head, threading her fingers through the hair there.

“Thunder baby” he laughs at the old nickname, only his Mila would know to call him that, and it sets him off, he starts crying pulling her closer to him. Loki watches from the doorway, his own emotions threatening as he watches them together. Thor senses this and turns.

“Get out!” Thor snaps at Loki shielding Mila from his view. “You have done enough” Loki tries to plead with his brother but Thor shuts it down. He will never allow Loki any where near Mila ever again. Mila takes Thor's hand and he turns to her, his free hand threading through her hair, Loki looks to the others, Dean and Sam watching him suspiciously and Loki flees. Thor glances back to make sure he's gone before he relaxes.

“What was that about?” Dean asks his sister, she looks to him.

“Loki was the one that killed me” she answers. “The original me” Thor presses his head to the side of hers breathing her in, he cannot believe she is really here with him. 

"Am I dreaming?" he asks. "If i am dreaming i do not wish to wake" he whispers. she smiles sadly and shakes her head against his. 

"You are not dreaming" she assures him. "I am here" he holds her to him tighter. 


	13. Chapter Twelve

Dean and Sam sit on either side of Mila, her legs swinging off the edge of the table they're sat on. Castiel stands near by letting them have their moment. Mila is contemplating her future now she's...Mila again. She sighs a little.

“With my memories, I am aware of my relationship and my feelings for Thor” She admits. “But I did genuinely love Loki” she looks to Dean. “In this life...”

“Can you forgive him?” Dean asks her. “If not then...” he shrugs. “Guess you have your answer either way really”

“I think you should spend some time with Thor” Sam offers on her other side. “See if this you, this version of you can still like him that way” Mila cocks her head and then nods, it is a good plan. To see if those feelings are still there or if they are only there because she has her memories back. “It's been a long time, both of you will have changed, grown, I mean, you're not even the same person you were six years ago when you re-met Loki let alone, what? 700 years?” she hums a little.

“You should concentrate on you” A voice states behind them, Mila glances back over her shoulder to see a redhead lingering in the doorway. “Sorry, eavesdropping” she admits stepping into the room. “Natasha Romanoff” she introduces. “Had to get away from all the yelling and to figure out why”

“Mila Winchester” Mila offers. “My brothers, Sam and Dean and...Cas” she motions to the angle who smiles back at her.

“Hey” Dean greets with a smirk.

“Sorry for butting in” Natasha states.

“No” Mila shakes her head. “An outsiders opinion” Mila adds and nods. “I will listen” Natasha raises an eyebrow and then nods agreeing.

“We don't need men to define us” Natasha offers. “And you need to think about yourself in this first”

“Yes” Castiel agrees. “They don't matter right now” he offers. “You've got all this new stuff in your head, your body is changing, adjusting.....Agent Romanoff is indeed correct, forget them for now”

“If they care, if they truly love you, then they'll understand” Natasha adds just as two figures fall from the vents, crashing to the floor with cries of pain and discomfort. Natasha just rolls her eyes. Bucky shoves Clint off of him and they both bounce up to their feet, trying to play off the fall. Clint had warned Bucky that the vents couldn't hold their join weight, Bucky is an idiot and ignored him. Natasha turns to face them, her hand on her hip ready to scold them.

“His fault” Clint is quick to accuse pointing to the former assassin at his side. Bucky shoots him a look and growls. Mila raises an eyebrow at them both. Bucky notices her look first.

“Hi” Bucky offers with a smile.

“Ease off, Barnes” Natasha warns amused. “She is Thor and Loki's.....lady love” Bucky snorts and then smirks.

“So you're what all the fuss is about” he comments crossing his arms over his chest. “You got two Gods acting like toddlers”

“It's not like I meant for this to happen” Mila points out. “Two days ago I was human, and in full control of my own memories.....now I am struggling to remember which memory is from which life”

“So she doesn't need those two knuckleheads getting in the way” Natasha agrees. “Because you know how competitive they can be....”

“I'd be more worried about Thor killing Loki right now” Clint mumbles, Mila raises an eyebrow.

“Because of the whole.....'he killed me thing'?” she asks, Clint nods.

“Yeah, and the whole...Loki dated you when your mind was still muddled and didn't tell Thor you were alive thing”

“Understandable” Mila mumbles looking down. She knows she is creating more problems. She looks to Dean. “Let's go home,” she tells him, he frowns and looks to the others.

“Mila” he starts turning back. “Maybe you should stay here” she frowns at him.

“She's right” Mila nods to Natasha. “I need to figure this all out and I can't do that if they're going to be hovering around me and you know they will”

“I don't think they're about to let you walk out the door either” Sam points out.

“They don't get a choice” she counters sliding off the table. “I want to go home” she whispers. “I want **my** things.....I want **my** bed.......”

“Okay,” Dean stops her, placing a hand on her arm. “Okay....if that's what you want we can do that but you have to be the one to tell them you're going” Mila nods and worries her hands together.

....................

Thor finds Mila first after she'd called for him and Loki, she stands with her back to him, his eyes lingering on her slightly, she's tense and nervous, he's known her long enough to be able to read her fully by now.

“Mila?” Thor asks, she looks to him and then to Loki as he joins them, Loki looks between them settling on Thor when he growls.

“Enough” Mila scolds, Thor looks to her. “I want you both here” she assures him. “We need to talk” she motions to the door which Loki closes before tentatively moving closer to her. Mila takes a deep breath before announcing to them: “I'm going to leave” she admits. “Go back home with my brothers”

“What?” Thor asks as Loki frowns. “Why?”

“Because they're my family and I can't stay here....”

“But they're not your real family” Thor argues.

“I have had many families, countless families” she counters. “And each and every single one of them means just as much to me as the first” she sighs. “Sam and Dean are my brothers....and I will be returning home with them” she states leaving no room what so ever for argument. She glances to Thor and sighs softly noting his expression. “Don't look so sad, Thunder baby” Thor chuckles a little looking down, but his sadness remains. “It's not forever” she assures him. “I just need to process everything...I have life after life after life inside of my head and I am barely holding onto my own reality” he nudges her nose and kisses her, her lips move back against his before she forces herself to pull back. “Everything is different now” she points out. “We're different”

“Are you saying that you no longer....” Thor stops and shakes his head not wanting to even day it out loud.

“I'm saying...I don't know” she admits looking down. Thor clasps her face in his hands and presses his forehead to hers.

“Please” he pleads. “Don't leave me”

“I'm just going to go” Loki mumbles stepping back away from them, Mila pulls her head from Thor's.

“No” she argues. “Stay, we need to talk too” Loki sighs, Mila moves from Thor to Loki, he keeps his head down. “Loki” she touches his hand at his side before threading her fingers with his. “I know it wasn't entirely honest what we had” she starts, Loki purses his lips. “You kept things from me....” she takes a breath. “But I do love you” Thor shifts uneasy behind her. “My feelings for Thor are still here but so are my new ones for you....and being around you both it's unfair on you, on both of you......” Loki gently squeezes their joint hands. “Until all my memories settle, until I sort through the personalities and the feelings I need to stay away” Loki nods and kisses her forehead, as much as he risks with Thor present. Loki breathes her in before pulling back, letting her magic wash over him before he steps back. “Oh,” Mila smiles softer. “And I forgive you” she tells him warmly. “For...killing me, for all of it” Loki gives her a sad smile back.

“I don't deserve your forgiveness” he argues.

“Well you got it anyway” she takes a few steps back and sighs. “I should go” she grabs her coat from the back of a chair and pulls it on. Thor pouts, actually full on pouts at her. “It's not forever” she repeats.

“How long?” Thor asks her.

“I don't know...a couple of weeks.....months maybe”

“Months” Thor whispers frowning. She moves back to him.

“You waited this long” she points out taking his hand. “What's a little longer?”

“Stark throws this Fall party” Loki offers. “End of September, why don't you and your brothers attend, and we can take it from there” he looks to Thor who clenches his jaw. But Loki is right. That is a good idea.

“Yes,” Mila agrees. “Yes, that gives me time to adjust and to think about what I think is going to be best for us all”

“What's best is for you to stay here....with me” Thor argues, she cups his cheek.

“And what if we're too different now?” she asks him. “What if we no longer....”

“I still love you” he assures her, interrupting her.

“Take this time to think about it” she states. “Make sure that it's not just the memory of me you're still clinging too” Thor nudges her nose, pulling her closer. She closes her eyes and sighs. He brushes his lips over hers. “Thor” she warns, he hangs his head. “It's been a long time, everything has changed, maybe taking some time is what we all need” she then pauses and thinks a moment. “Maybe....maybe you should try dating....someone else” Thor shifts his head slightly. “Just to see how it feels....” she looks to Loki. “Maybe both of you should” Thor goes to argue with her. “Just try it” she tells him, stopping him. “Dinner, dancing, drinks.....just try it...for me?” he searches her eyes before nodding and sighing, caving. She touches his face and he closes his eyes to lean into her hand. She moves away and he closes his eyes with a puff of air. She hugs Loki, letting his arms tighten around her, her own stroke at his hair before pulling away, they share a look then she is stepping away, she leaves the room without looking back. She'd break if she did. And she's not sure why. Her feels for Thor are dug in, her soul had been in love with him when she died and those feelings are still there. But she fell in love with Loki too, their fresh, new, exciting.


	14. Chapter Thirteen

Those months Mila spends away from Thor and Loki are difficult, her instincts tell her to turn to them, her friend and companions. It's what she would have done once upon a time. But she can't do that anymore. She has to come to this decision herself. Despite the fact it is probably the hardest thing she has ever had to decide. She wasn't lying, she really has forgiven Loki, she understands why he did what he did, that he reacted with his emotions. Maybe if she had seen how Loki felt for her none of this would have happened. Maybe this is all her fault. Dean stands in front of her, worried. She's been quiet and withdrawn since they returned from the Avengers Tower.

“Are you alright?” Dean asks Mila who looks up at him, she searches her face and then shrugs a little.

“It's complicated” she admits, he nods handing her a glass of whiskey. She takes it and leans back, he sits at her side and leans on his knees.

“Oh yeah,” he agrees. “Turns out my sister is a reincarnated Asgardian sorceress” she looks to him.

“You're still my brother, Dean” she assures him. “Each life, each version of me has a family, and each one **is** my family....as much as the first was. We grew up together, we played together, you are and always will be my brother” he looks to her and smiles sadly. “I know that last few years haven't been easy for us, and I blamed you for a lot of things” she sighs. “It wasn't all your fault” she admits. “I have always put my family first....always, and I shouldn't...”

“It's not always bad” he argues, she shrugs again and offers a smile.

“It's not always good” she counters, he hums a little and sighs, he knows she's right. Things haven't exactly been easy for them over the years. “Good news though” she offers. “All my old injuries have healed”

“Yeah?” he asks her. “That is good” he smiles at her. He touches her arm and then sighs. “Have you thought about them?” he asks. “Thor and Loki” she nods.

“Yes, often” she answers. “Things are different now....” she whispers. “Thor...he's a man I very much loved with everything I had...” she leans against Dean's shoulder. “Loki, this time I spent with him, I saw a side of him that I was blind to all those years ago.....”

“Mila” he looks to her softly. “Don't think about the past” he points out. “Think about your future, you need to decide who you see yourself having a future with....” she hums in agreement and looks to her hand, she wiggles her fingers letting the dark purple mist of her magic envelope it. “If either of them” he adds, she looks to him.

“You're the best of them” she comments, he frowns. “My brothers” she elaborates softly. “You and Sam, you're....the best of them” he smiles at her. “Out of all of them, and there has been a few” she stands and pulls him into a hug. She holds his head to her chest and kisses his hair. Dean closes his eyes and sighs sadly. When was the last time he hugged her? He can't even remember. He clings to her a little. “You were the best” she whispers warmly. “And you're right....” she pulls back. “It's about the future” she offers walking away, watching her, Dean can see a new way to the way she moves, a different sort of stride, it's graceful, ancient, powerful.

...................

Mila sits on her bed and watches her fingers, her magic wrapping around the digits, she nods to herself. The future. That's the plan. Think about what sort of future she could have with each of them. Raising her fingers she closes her eyes and presses them to her forehead letting her magic seep into her skin. She takes a deep breath and then falls back onto her bed.

…..............

Mila still doesn't know what she wants as Dean drives them back to New York and to the tower. Every scenario she envisions changes her mind. But her time is up, she has to make her choice. She runs her fingers through her hair and shakes it out with a sigh. Sam glances back at her and raises an eyebrow, she shakes her head at him and then shrugs. He gives her a small smile.

…..............

Thor's eyes light up seeing Mila with her brothers, the three of them talking softly. He has to restrain himself from running straight to her. He promised her space, just as Loki had, so for now, he stays where he is, and he watches her. She looks better, stronger this time, she's had time to adjust to the changes in her body and soul.

“Hurts, doesn't it?” Thor looks to Loki who appears at his side. “Watching someone you love and not being able to be with them”

“Not enough to kill the subject of my affection” Thor argues, Loki looks away and clenches his jaw a little. “You know that all those years ago if you admitted to her how you felt rather than ignoring them.....” Thor stops and shakes his head. “If you'd just told her how you felt”

“She was in love with you” Loki counters and sighs. “What happens here?” He asks, Thor glances to him.

“What do you mean?” Thor asks back.

“Her choices” Loki answers. “What if she chooses me?” Thor scoffs. “What if she chooses neither of us?” Thor shrugs and looks away, his eyes finding Mila again this time she is talking to Natasha.

“Then....she chooses neither of us” Thor offers sadly.

“Thor” Loki starts. “It's been centuries....things are different now, we've all changed, she is not the girl you fell in love with, just as you are not the boy she fell in love with” Thor sighs because he knows Loki is right, things are different. They are different. Things might not work out the way they did once upon a time. Feeling different and changed. “Perhaps you should take a few days and spend it together” Loki offers, Thor raises an eyebrow at him. “I love her” Loki points out. “But if she chooses you, then I will accept that, as long as she is happy..... “ Thor starers at Loki a moment, studying his brother's expression. “You went on that date with whats-her-name, you tried, and you couldn't, perhaps seeing if it still works with Mila will help. If it doesn't, then maybe you both have your answer” Loki then walks away.


	15. Chapter Fourteen

Sam sits on Mila's bed as she paces slightly. He hates seeing his big sister distressed. And with everything that's been placed on her since her 'awakening'. And now them being back here in New York, around Thor and Loki again. The strain between the three of them even though they haven't been in the same room as each other yet.

“We could go home” he offers. “Come back another time” she turns to him and then moves to sit at his side.

“I can't expect them to wait for me to decide forever,” Mila tells him. “It's unfair and selfish....” she sighs and shakes her head. “Tonight I have to choose, I have to tell them” Sam takes her hand and she looks to him.

“No matter what happens with them; me and Dean will be here” he assures her, she smiles and nods.

“I know” she cups his cheek and brushes her thumb over his skin. “I should get dressed” she whispers standing and moving to the dress bag hanging on the wardrobe door, Sam nods and stands leaving her alone. She unzips the dress and smiles. Normally, or once upon a time, she would have worn red to show her unity with Thor and whilst in this life she had started to gravitate towards green but she knows that she can't wear either without it seeming like a choice on her part, so she went with something different for this dress. Purple to match her magic. She takes a breath and nods.

…...........

Thor taps his fingers on the side of the glass in his hand, he's been on edge since he saw Mila earlier, that urge to just go up to her and everything to be like it was all those years ago, even when he knows they won't be. The chatter of the room drops out, plunging it into silence. Thor turns to find out why. Mila. She stands at the top of the stairs, her fingers running over the middle of her dress as her nerves work through her. This life she isn't used to people watching her, looking at her like that. So far from the balls and festivities of Asgard. Thor lowers his drink to openly stare at her. She looks beautiful. And he's not the only one who's noticed. Loki is stood across the room beside Natasha his eyes on Mila. Mila takes a breath and heads down the stairs, careful of her dress as she does. Her body moving with all the fluidity and grace of an Asgardian. Tony Stark meets her at the bottom of the stairs, she raises her eyebrow at him.

“Mr. Stark” she greets, Tony holds out his hand to her, she slides her palm into it.

“Miss Winchester” he counters. “When I heard that there were three sudden additions to my guest list I had to figure it out...I hear you've got our Asgardians all in a tizzy” she raises an eyebrow.

“And you are here to tell me to stop?” she asks turning to him. “I have no interest in hurting either of them” she assures him. “I'm actively to avoid doing so....”

“They're acting like spoilt pouting children who've had their favorite toy taken away from them” Tony informs her, she raises an eyebrow and turns to him.

“I should let you know that I am an Asgardian as well, and my magic rivals Loki's” she points out, Tony raises an eyebrow back at her. “Don't insult me again”

“I didn't intend to” Tony assures her. “I was trying to use an analogy” he shakes his head. “Never mind” he takes a breath. “Have you decided yet?”

“If I say yes...will you leave me alone?” she asks him. He shoots her a look. “Every time I think I know....” she looks across at Thor who leans on the bar trying not to look at her, but she can see his eyes watching her in the mirror over the bar. “I spent a long time with Thor” she admits to him. “Then a long time grieving” she glances across at Loki who smiles at her. “This was my first rebirth in which I couldn't remember my first life with them” Tony listens to her. “And spending the time I did with Loki....it was like...”

“Fresh start” Tony offers, she looks to him and nods. “Maybe I can throw my hat in there too” he teases, she smiles and shakes her head. “Dance?” Tony asks her only to then be flanked by two figures, he instantly knows who they are. Thor and Loki.

“I was going to ask her to dance,” Thor tells Tony.

“As was I” Loki shoots Thor a look. Tony gives Mila a look and then smirks.

“Yeah, good luck” he whispers to her and then walks away. Mila sighs a little.

“I should get the first dance” Thor argues with Loki. “She was with me first”

“She was my friend first” Loki reminds Thor. Mila steps between them and sighs.

“I'll dance with both of you” she argues taking Thor's hand and turns to Loki. “You're next” he searches her eyes and then nods backing off. Thor is the most likely to kick off, she knows this, Loki knows this, she needs to placate him first, Loki has more patience. Mila turns to Thor and smiles at him. “Come on” she pulls him towards the dance floor. “You wanted a dance” he follows behind her. She weaves them both through the other party goers until they reach the center of the room. Thor holds her close, arm around her back, hand on her waist his other holding her hand. They both sway to the music among the other party goers on the small dance floor. They both stay quiet, basking in one another. Thor is the one to break it moments later.

“I tried dating” Thor admits to her, Mila raises an eyebrow at him.

“How did it go?” she asks him, her heart clenching slightly at the thought of Thor with anyone else, and it shouldn't, that's what she told him to do, to test the waters.

“Not very well” he whispers pressing his fingers into her waist. “I couldn't stop thinking about you the whole time”

“Thor” she warns.

“I know” He stops her. “I know we agreed to space; but...It's difficult being apart from you now I know you're alive” he squeezes her hand. “And I know that you and Loki...” he struggles. “We've all changed” he adds. “Loki suggested that we should all get to know one another again, no lies, no hidden agendas....just us” he looks down at her.

“We can do that” she assures him. “If you want to” he nods softly. Loki is suddenly there behind Mila, his fingers curl around Mila's wrist and he tugs, Thor releases her as she staggers towards Loki, he takes her hand and smiles at her as he pulls her closer to his body. Loki and Thor share a look, Thor nods and then heads back to the bar.

“You look beautiful” he whispers wrapping an arm around her so he can dance with her. “I don't think I've ever seen you in purple before”

“I thought it better than playing favorites” she admits, he nods and hums.

“Probably wise” he agrees with her, she looks up at him warmly and he smiles back at her. He presses his head to the side of hers and breaths her in. “I should have admitted it” he whispers. “All those years ago, all those moments we spent together, I should have said something.....”

“Why didn't you?” she asks.

“I was afraid” he admits. “You were my best friend and I was....” he pauses. “I still am madly in love with you. I was terrified you'd send me away, that we'd lose what we had”

“I don't mean to hurt you” she whispers sadly. “Either of you”

“Hurt us?” he asks pulling back with a frown. “Mila, it's been 700 years and you're here....” he reminds her. “I thought you dead...I thought you dead forever” her eyes mist over a little. “We both did....that you're alive means more to me, and I am sure to....” he rolls his eyes a little. “Thor, then anything else” he brushes his thumb across her cheek brushing away a tear. “Don't worry about hurting us” he whispers pressing his forehead to hers. “This is about you....you need to be sure about this, about what happens...” he closes his eyes. “Just make sure it's right for you” he clears his throat and then smiles. “Hey, maybe we should enjoy this party” he whispers, she smiles back at him, warm and soft. “When was the last time we attended something like this”

“It's been a while” she agrees, he steps back pushing her away from him before pulling her back with a chuckle.

“Right, so let's just have some fun” he looks up and across at Thor who raises an eyebrow, Loki nods for him to join them, Thor frowns and shakes his head, Loki nods and pulls Mila to him, spinning her so her back is against his chest. “Get that oaf to come over here” he whispers in her ear, she rolls her eyes a little but does look to Thor, she nods for him to join them, he frowns but stands setting his drink down to approach them. Loki passes her over to Thor and kisses her cheek. “I'll get you a drink,” he tells her and then walks away, Thor frowns a little, Mila shrugs back at the expression he gives her.

“Fun” she offers. “Loki wants us to have fun” Thor raises an eyebrow this time.


	16. Chapter Fifteen

  
Loki watches as Mila laughs, whole body laughs with Thor. The two of them stood close together at the bar, her hand on his arm as the sound erupts from her. It's something neither of them have heard in so long. Loki is both pleased and scared. He is glad that she is happy. But he's scared she's going to choose Thor. If she chooses Thor, what is he supposed to do? How is he supposed to go through that again? How is going to watch them together every day? He supposes he could go back to Asgard. Or they could. He supposes he can ask for a long term mission to the other side of the planet....just till he gets used to it. Wanda raises her eyes at his side.

“She really is that important to you” Wanda offers, Loki looks to her.

“The most” Loki answers. “Always has been”

“What will you do if this doesn't go your way?” Loki stares at her and then shrugs. Wanda nods behind him and Loki turns to find Mila approaching them.

“Hey” Mila bounces to a stop. Loki smiles warmly at her, hiding his inner turmoil from her, he knows she's struggling with this already, he doesn't want to hurt her any more than he already has. “It's your turn,” Mila tells Loki taking his hand.

“No” he argues, she nods.

“Loki, this was your idea” she plucks his drink from his hand and hands it to Wanda at his side who smiles taking it from her. “You wanted us to have fun” she pulls him closer. “Come dance with me” he caves and lets her pull him through the crowd onto the dance floor. Loki sighs and pulls her closer. “Enjoy it” she whispers. “I will make up my mind” she presses her head to his chest. “After tonight...I promise ” he presses his lips to her head and closes his eyes.

“Whatever you decide, whoever you decide, I will support you” he assures her. “I will try to” he corrects.

…..........

Mila leans on the railing of a balcony overlooking the city, it's crazy how peaceful it is up here. Thor's presence is warm and everywhere as he takes his place at her side. His hand covering hers on the railing. She leans closer to him, resting her head on his arm.

“I have missed this” he admits. “You and me standing like this” she smiles and nods. It is a very familiar way that they used to end their nights, stood together looking out over Asgard, comfortable with one another. The setting may have changed but it is warm and comforting. Thor takes her hand in his, raising it to his mouth he presses his lips to the back of it. “Mila” he starts. “I want you to know that whatever you decide” he starts softly. “Whoever you decide...I will support you” he assures her. She looks up at him softly. “What we had...it was a long time ago and I understand if you decide that it was too long ago”

“Thor” she starts, he cups her cheek, brushing his thumb over her skin.

“You will always be my first love” he assures her. “Nothing will change that” she blinks letting a few tears roll down her cheek, they catch in his hand. She wraps her arms around him as he pulls her closer.

…...........

Mila looks around for Thor and Loki, they've disappeared from the party. She huffs a little, Steve glances up from his seat and pats the space beside him, she looks down at him.

“They went to bed” Steve offers her, Mila nods sitting at his side. “Your situation is....difficult” he offers. “Sticking with the past or moving on...”

“You would know, right?” she asks him, he smiles and nods. “If you had the choice...” she starts. “Between this life....the future, or going back to the past, to that life you had....what would you do?” he takes a deep breath and shrugs.

“I don't know” he admits. “Bucky is here....but...”

“There is something familiar in the old?” she asks, he nods and looks to her.

“If I knew Bucky would be fine....”

“You wouldn't miss the tech or the food or anything?” she teases lightly, he shrugs. “My life on Asgard was a very long time ago...my life with Thor was....” she takes a breath. “I think I know what I have to do” she then tells him standing, Steve watches her walk away just as Bucky drops into the seat beside him. Steve turns to him.

“Hey, if you could go back to the '40s....would you?”

“What?” Bucky asks. “No way”

“No?” Steve asks.

“Nah” Bucky shakes his head. “I mean it was great and all before Hydra but...” he shrugs. “It sucked” Steve smiles a little. “Why? Would you?” Steve threads his fingers through Bucky's hair and shakes his head.

“No” he answers firmly. “No, I would not...” Bucky smiles and leans into Steve's touch. "You're here" Steve adds softly. 

….............

Mila takes a deep breath and looks between the two doors, her fingers worrying at the skirt of her dress. This is it. She has to make her choice. She can't put it off any longer. Closing her eyes and takes a deep breath before nodding. She can do this. She knows what she wants. She knows who she wants. Who she belongs with. She flexes her fingers before reaching up and knocking on one of the doors. It opens and she takes a relieved breath before stepping inside.


End file.
